Yesterday was my birthday, and I was lucky enough to have my Mum and Dad come to visit and to help me celebrate, along with a couple of close friends.
Yesterday was also, the day I found out that over 18 years of memories, certificates and personal effects that I had carefully boxed up to collect from the office as soon as was physically possible, had been thrown away. In those boxes was a picture of my little girl that she gave me on mothers day, a mug I had received as a leaving gift from a previous company, and other precious gifts I had collected over the years. There were certificates, course materials and a box file full of contacts details all thrown away, never to be seen again.
The last time I was in the office, I was meeting friends for drinks but had intended to go back to the office and collect the boxes on my way home. However, while I was putting the last of my stuff away, ready to collect later, it was recommended by a senior co-worker not to take them that day and come back for them. They assured me, they would be safe, no one would touch them and that it would be nice to see me again, so I left them, ready to collect another day.
Shortly after this and because of Covid-19, the offices were closed, no one was allowed in the building, and therefore I couldn't collect them. So it was by pure chance that I found out they were moving and closing the office. I emailed the contact I was given straight away to arrange to have my items shipped back to me, only to get a response from someone else late afternoon informing me that my things were no longer there.
They had contacted everyone who worked there, to tell them that if they wanted anything from the office, it would be shipped, then everything else would be thrown out. As I was no longer an employee, I had not been emailed, so they assumed I no longer wanted the items and they had disposed of them.
When I first read the email telling me this, I was naturally angry and upset. Why hadn't they contacted me? Why hadn't the co-worker kept them safe or let me know? Why didn't they look in the box and see that these were valuable personal items? Why, Why, Why?
I now had two choices, I could remain angry and upset and let it ruin my birthday, or I could change the way I thought about it and move on. After the initial shock of finding out this had happened, I let my logical brain kick in and process what I had lost, and when I thought about it, it was just "stuff". Yes, some of it can't be replaced but does that matter as I still have the memories of them. I can't replace the certificates or course materials but all of that "stuff" that was relevant in my past, is not relevant for my future. So did it matter?
Yes, I was still a little sad, but I know that it is not "stuff" that makes me happy. Its being with my family and friends that makes me truly happy. It's being able to spend quality time with my daughter, not just relying on a picture that makes me happy. It's the newfound passion I have for coaching and making a difference that makes me happy. So I decided to let it go, along with the contents of the boxes and enjoy my birthday. What was done was done, I couldn't change it, so I focused on celebrating with my family and friends.
Making memories is far more important than keeping trinkets associated with them, and looking forwards is so much better than looking back.
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